Thursday, January 31, 2008

The final word on menses, period.


For far too long we have been taught to resent our vaginas. To cover them up, to stop them up, to moan over our monthly fate and take medicine for what is a naturally occuring phenomenon. We're told we have to spend a dumptruck on "feminine hygiene items." What are you trying to say, mister, you don't think my beauitful vagina is hygenic without your items? I'll have you know the vagina a self-cleaning organ, and it's also by the way a beautiful miracle so there. We're taught to make excuses for our emotions and blame them upon a perfectly normal regular thing. There are goddamned personality disorders blamed upon having heavy flows! This is ridiculous repression, and I simply won't stand for it any more.

Goddamnit, my period is fucking radical.

Look, aren't we in a society that glamorizes gore? Doesn't hollywood make more money on opening week if there's more blood in the film? Well? Goddamnit?! WHERE ARE MY MONTHLY MILLIONS? My period is freaking awesome!

Reasons why my period is freaking awesome:

1) Because despite identifying as a lesbian, I do occasionally dabble in intercourse with men. My period is a friendly monthly reminder that I am still winning the battle to make it through this lifetime without being responsible for another being's life.

2) Because my vulva looks like a pretty little mouth with lipstick on it.

3) Because I like to watch the little drops hit the water and blossom when I'm sitting on the commode.

4) Because my pads can be used as Rorschach tests. And they have a LOT to say.

Ladies. Give me your reasons why your period is totally tubular.

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