11/30 (GMB Series #2)
She asked "What are you thinking?"
You don't notice, I said, the things that you don't notice
when you're driving until you're not driving. For example.
When I am the passenger I look at each house
for as long as I can before my eyes start to burn
from the straining. I stare into their windows, and if someone
happens to be out in the yard, so much the better. I imagine
their lives, give them names, decide whether or not
they like sauce on their meat, how they like their eggs,
their potatoes, their kisses. Pick out favorite colors,
bands, memories, places they've visited, people they've known
that have died. I watch as they water their lawns,
fold their clothes, hug hello or goodbye or straighten their houses
and lives. So when you're worried, I said, about me not dancing
here at the disco, don't be. I'm noticing the things
I don't notice when I'm partying with my friends. Because
we may be partying, but I'll never count you my friend.
12/30 (GMB series #3)
She asked: "Do you like to trade?"
Well it worked out just fine for Robert Johnson, didn't it?
(Who was he?) He sat down at the crossroads one night until
old Satan himself came strolling by, traded his immortal soul
for some mean guitar skills. And boy could he play.
I'll make you a CD. (So, you do like to trade?) Well look
at dear Martin. He traded his life so his brothers could be
called men, don't you think that was noble? Don't you think
in the end that he made a fair trade? Everyone's got to die
sometime. Might as well make it worthwhile. (Why all these
stories about dying?) Because I can't bring myself to trade
any more of my sanity for your momentary pleasure. I would
rather not take another breath than take another word from you.
13/30 (GMB series #4)
DO NOT DISTURB:
I am sleeping. / I am reading. / I am watching
television. / I am pacing. / I am inventing. / I
am excercising. / I am making love. / I am bathing.
/ I am crying. / I am focusing very determinedly on
what it means to be human. / I am hoping. / I am
dreaming. / I am creating my own future, one idea
at a time. / I am wishing. / I am pretending. /
I am imagining. / I am reflecting, recounting,
remembering. / I am flying. / I am writing. / I am
in child's pose, breathing with the universe. / I
am avoiding thoughts of you. / I am avoiding you.
/ I am repressing. / I am forgetting. / I am some
where else, someone else. / I am unknowing you
and everything about you. / I am healing. / I am
rewriting. / I am trying to name every one
of the stars.