Thursday, April 9, 2015

10/30: reasons to be angry today

  1. Because I set my alarms for P.M. instead of A.M. and woke up just in time to not technically be late to work.
  2. Because I can't use my air conditioner, because it pisses water all over my belongings.
  3. Because I'm ovulating and there's no one around to Do Me Right.
  4. Because I didn't see the sun set.
  5. Because I never see the sun set.
  6. Because Dove has a new Beauty campaign out that still doesn't address how much easier it is for white able-bodied ciswomen to claim Beauty than it is for their sisters in the struggle.
  7. Because too many white able-bodied ciswomen leave their sisters behind in the struggle.
  8. Because the struggle.
  9. Because I make my students do their homework, but I still haven't finished grading their tests.
  10. Because I don't know how to reach some of them.
  11. Because I had to teach them about Ferguson.
  12. Because Amerikkka.
  13. Because maybe there is no good country in this world.
  14. Because this world.
  15. Because depression.
  16. Because antidepressants.
  17. Because infinite downward spirals of existential thoughts.
  18. Because I didn't have time to eat until 10PM.
  19. Because I've already stayed up too late again tonight.
  20. Because tomorrow *isn't* another day.
  21. Because I still haven't finished unpacking into this new place.
  22. Because I don't know where my heart is.
  23. Because I'm scared to visit home, because what if I don't want to leave, because what if I never want to visit again.
  24. Because I want to be home now.
  25. Because home is a place where companies turn the water off on poor folk.
  26. Because home is a place where white men in blue shirts shoot black men black women black children black people who did NOTHING.
  27. Because too many black family trees are missing limbs these days.
  28. Because this makes me sick, but I have the privilege of being able to stop thinking about it because I'm white.
  29. Because home is a place where businesses can tell me get out cuz I'm queer.
  30. Because I'm queer and woman in a world that hates queer and woman and black and and and.
  31. Because that should be so alarming that we all immediately understand how wrong it is and change it.
  32. Because people don't find it alarming and don't change it.
  33. Because at 10PM my alarms did in fact go off.

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